What is Social Health?
- May 21
- 4 min read
Social health is the "and Peggy" of the health trio.
If you don’t know — Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy were the three Schuyler sisters from Hamilton, The Musical. Angelica was brilliant and strategic. Eliza was warm and full of heart. And Peggy? Peggy is mostly remembered for her one line, eclipsed by her more celebrated sisters. — now you know.
But here's the thing about Peggy: she matters. And so does social health.
We all know physical health.
Eat our vegetables
Get enough exercise
Get good sleep
Adopt a personal rule that you'll only eat poutine when visiting Quebec
Physical health is Angelica. It will do what's practical — order the salad — but it will never be fully satisfied. It tries not to stare too longingly at your friend who ordered the poutine and is absolutely loving it.
A lot of us have started getting in tune with our mental health.
Focusing on progress over perfection
Reframing negative thought patterns
Turning down the volume on what others think of you
Maybe you've started talking things out with a therapist, or making space for reflection through journaling.
Mental health is Eliza. It helps you put words to complicated feelings and drives you to light fire to your ex's love letters as a way to heal. (If you're lost in this analogy, we strongly recommend watching Hamilton.)
So what is social health?
Like Peggy, there’s more to social health than just wanting to be included.
The CDC frames social health as:
"the number, quality, and variety of desired relationships"
Let's unpack what that actually means, because it's more layered than it sounds.
Looking side-to-side: Number and Variety
Think of this as the range of your social world.
1. Variety of different relationships
This includes family, friends, coworkers, classmates, neighbors, community groups — the whole cast of characters in your life. There's no one right mix or ratio here. Everyone has different needs, and our "Goldilocks mix" — the just-right-for-us combination — tends to shift as we move through different stages of life. What worked in your twenties might look very different in your forties. And that's fine.
2. Ability to navigate relationships in different situations
How you behave at a dance party versus a disagreement are two very different modes of relating to others. Just one word — "Hey!" — reads completely differently in those two contexts.
Or think about how you behave when you attend a house of worship for a wedding versus a funeral. Same place, totally different energy, totally different version of you.
3. Ability to tailor your behavior to different social environments
How you dance at a work event is probably different from how you dance on a Vegas trip with your sorority sisters.
Similarly, how you navigate a disagreement with your spouse at home most likely looks different from how you navigate one with your boss at work.
Social health isn't just about who you're in relationship with. It's about your ability to show up differently depending on where you are and what the moment calls for.
Looking up and down: Quality
This is where things get interesting — and where the depth of social health really lives.
Layer 1: Participation — "I feel included."
This is the entry point. The feeling of being in the room, being part of something. It's how a lot of new relationships start. You're in the group chat. You got invited. You showed up.
Layer 2: Connection — "I feel seen and understood."
This is a step deeper. Connection is what makes participation feel worth your time and energy. It's the moment a conversation shifts from surface-level small talk to something that actually lingers with you afterward. It's why you leave some gatherings feeling full and others feeling strangely hollow even though you were surrounded by people.
Not every event of participation translates into connection.
Layer 3: Belonging — "I matter and I feel valued."
This is the ultimate goal — and it's more essential than we typically give it credit for.
Belonging shows up in Maslow's famous Hierarchy of Needs, nestled in the middle of the pyramid. But more recent behavioral science suggests we may have been underselling it. Some studies now indicate that humans value belonging on the same level as food and shelter. Not a nice-to-have. A need-to-have.
Belonging grows with repetition and quality of connecting experiences. It requires mutuality — meaning the feeling of connection has to go both ways — and it requires some acceptance of differences. You can't fully belong somewhere that only accepts parts of you.
Why does any of this matter?
Because social health isn't a soft, feel-good add-on to your wellbeing. It's infrastructure.
Our ability to communicate and connect — especially across differences — is what holds our relationships and communities together. And like Peggy Schuyler, it tends to get overlooked until you realize just how much it was quietly doing all along.
(Side note: Peggy Schuyler once single-handedly defended her family from a band of tomahawk wielding home invaders intent on kidnapping her father. A spinoff musical? Yes please!)
Understanding the complexity and layers of social health is the first step to actually taking charge of it. Keep learning about why it can feel off, and what we can do about it.
Better conversations are possible — and they start here.
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